Machete (2010)

4.5 / 5 Jan '11
Tagline: Robert De Niro as The Senator
Directed by: Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez
Written by: Robert Rodriguez
Actors include: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba
Genre: Action, Comedy, Exploitation
Length: 105 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
Sure this was created from a fake trailer from the Grindhouse release, and I remember at the time thinking that this would have made a cool movie. It did, it lived up to it's preview and then some...mind you abandon all ye who seek a major plot or some sort of well written script. This is immediately exciting splattery action at it's best featuring the mysterious Machete (Danny Trejo) who's wife is brutally killed in front of him, and his daughter taken. He then is forced to try to assassinate an evil Senator (Robert De Niro) who believes in killing Mexican immigrants and building an electric fence to keep them out. Things don't go as anticipated and soon Machete on the run and ends up finding his way to the rebel forces and so forth. It's as bloody as possible (which I love), and it's violent from the beginning to the end. I also liked the little homages to various classic exploitation films like Ms .45, and Thriller - en grym film [Thriller: They Call Her One Eye]. The one liners were priceless like "Machete Don't Text", I never realized how like Machete I was until that moment hehe. It got the spirit of the grindhouse down pat, it was very entertaining and I'm sure it will offend many, sure it went on a little longer than maybe necessary but I enjoyed every minute of it.

Availability:  On Blu-Ray & DVD

Goodfellas (1990)

5 / 5
Tagline:  Three Decades of Life in the Mafia.
Directed by:  Martin Scorsese
Written by:  Nicholas Pileggi
Actors include:  Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci
Genre:  Crime, Drama, Thriller
Length:  146 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:

I never did get around to seeing this until just recently and I'm so glad I did for I completely get why it's regarded as one of the best films of all time.  Why?  Because I think you'd have to be pretty hateful to not enjoy it as it has something for anyone!  It's based upon the true story of Henry Hill, a gangster who starts out young and ends up extremely thick in the Mob.  It's really easy to follow, the characters are unforgettable, the violence is supreme the relationships between the characters are gripping as is the story.  The ruthlessly needless violent character of Tommy (Joe Pesci) is difficult to watch and he just brings the whole element of doom to the film.  Watching Henry rise from a young lad who runs errands to working his way up to the big time is fascinating and it even answers questions that I've had about how the Mob runs and everything else (not that I'm thinking of joining).  For those who don't like mobsters and stuff there is even the romantic element as part of this takes place through Henry's wife and her reactions to things.  I can't say enough good things about but I can say if you haven't seen it, don't be a fool go and watch it now!

Availability:  On Blu-Ray & DVD

Death Wish V: The Face Of Death aka Death Wish 5 (1994)

3.5 / 5 Jan '11
Tagline: The vigilante is back...
Directed by: Alan A. Goldstein,
Written by: Michael Colleary, Brian Garfield
Actors include: Charles Bronson, Lesley-Anne Down, Michael Parks
Genre: Action, Thriller, Crime
Length: 95 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
So if you are looking for a comedy filled with ridiculously impossible stunts and unrealistic everything then you need to see this. I laughed until I just about cried, and I found this immensely entertaining...but to say it's a "good movie" is rather difficult. So this is the last in the Death Wish series which I generally love...at this point Charles Bronson is rather aged, and in love with a fashion designer person with a little girl. Little girl's Father happens to be some sort of mobster bad guy who's posse attacks Bronson's girlfriend. What choice does he have but to go all vigilante on their asses? This time he isn't always using guns and easy weapons like that...no he goes for poisons, wood chippers and saws and things...(which don't seem to really belong at a fashion design warehouse but what do I know?). It's got plenty of insane violence, enough to satisfy most anyone and plenty 'o Bronson, what more could you want?

Availability:  On DVD

Commando (1985)

4 / 5  Jan '11
Tagline:  If there's a mission that no man could survive...then *he's* the man for the job.
Directed by:  Mark L. Lester
Written by:  Jeph Loeb, Matthew Weisman
Actors include:  Arnold Schwarzenegger, Alyssa Milano, Rae Dawn Chong
Genre:  Action
Length:  90 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review: 
Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as Commando...a former Commando who has now retired to pet deer and lick ice cream with his daughter (played by a young Alyssa Milano).  Some army men show up and want Arnold to help since his former Army buddies are being bumped off one by one but he won't budge.  That is until the bad guys come swooping in and abduct his daughter...then he has no choice but to co-operate!  The only problem is they want to force him to kill the President!  It's filled with amusing one-liners, violence and trickery...all the good stuff that action movies are made up of.  Satisfying though silly in many places, this is one to watch when you don't feel like thinking...just watching stuff blow up.

Availability:  On Blu-Ray & DVD

First Blood (1982)

4 / 5
Tagline:  One war against one man.
Directed by:  Ted Kotcheff
Written by:  David Morrell, Michael Kozoll
Actors include:  Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Brian Dennehy
Genre:  Action 
Length:  93 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:
For those times when you just want to see everyone get decimated...  I wasn't sure this would be the film for me but it was actually beautifully filmed out in B.C. with views from the mountains.  It also did have a paper thin plot that was easy to follow, but it didn't matter because it jumps right in with the action and doesn't let up until the end.  Sylvester Stallone plays John Rambo, an ex Green Beret who wanders into a quiet town only to be pushed out by the Police.  He doesn't want to leave, so once they try to force him things get bloody.  He wages war with the Force killing or maiming everyone in his path during a thrilling adventure hiding out in the mountains.  It's got violence out the wazoo of course, it's beyond simple and nobody is really in the right there though of course you are going to want to side with Rambo.  I haven't seen any of the sequels yet but I probably will after this, a better made film than I had anticipated.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

King Of New York (1990)

3.5 / 5
Tagline:  The cops tried to stop him their way...Now they'll have to do it HIS way.
Directed by:  Abel Ferrara
Written by:  Nicholas St. John
Actors include:  Christopher Walken, David Caruso, Laurence Fishburn
Genre:  Crime, Drama, Action
Length:  103 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:

Why sure this has tons of awesome gun violence, and Christopher Walken to boot and if that is all you are looking for then you should love this.  They didn't bother too much with character development and it felt like it was missing something somehow...maybe as if it were too simple?  The plot is that Frank White (Walken) has just been released from jail and is taking over his old crime syndicate.  He doesn't just stop there as he has a mission to run the entire town, and he's not afraid to kill the heck out of every person that gets in his way.  The Cops are hot on his trail, and his drug associates don't exactly seem to be keeping up their end of the deal.  There is also lots of rap music, shootings and even a nice guy plan to give tons of money to a hospital to help people.  Although it was quite impressive in some ways it just didn't measure up to what I had expected, especially considering it's stellar reputation.

Availability:  On Blu-Ray & DVD

Inglorious Basterds (2009)

4.5 / 5
Tagline:  "We're in the Nazi killin' business and cousin, business is a-boomin'."
Directed by:  Quentin Tarantino
Written by:  Quentin Tarantino
Actors include:  Brad Pitt, Diane Kruger, Eli Roth
Genre:  Drama, War, Action
Length:  153 minutes
Banned:  Nope
Country:  USA/Germany

Review: 

To be honest I wasn't too sure about watching this as I have barely any interest towards new movies and well Brad Pitt isn't my favorite.  Still seeing as how this is a Quentin Tarantino venture I gave it a try, and I actually thought it was very good.  Consider the fact that this is over two and a half hours long it's very exciting and crams a lot in so it doesn't feel very long at all.  It's segmented into chapters, the first being about  "The Jew Hunter" coming to find a family of missing jews at the home of a diary farmer.  The second chapter being about the group of Nazi killers called the Inglourious Basterds which is led by Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt).  Now this part is extremely bloody and gratuitous which I liked but it may but some weaker stomached folks off.  The third chapter is about a young woman who runs a cinema in Paris who is asked to hold a Nazi film premiere.  The fourth chapter has all sorts of drama leading up to the film festival including the Besterds plotting to attack the premiere.  Lastly of course is everything coming to a-head during the Premiere.  Now of course I've left out many important details and everything winds together in a neat little blood soaked manner.  It's such a well put together picture and every detail counts, it's no wonder so many hail this to be one of the best!  I guess it all depends on what you are looking for, but if you want an interesting war time revenge epic this should have everything one could hope to find.  It even has many nods to various famous filmmakers that film buffs should enjoy.  If you are looking for typical predictable Hollywood fare, then you will probably want to look elsewhere.  I'm very curious how much of the plot of this film is taken from the original but hopefully I'll watch that very soon.  Definitely a really fun venture that I liked, perhaps there is hope in modern cinema afterall?

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Mr. Majestyk (1974)

3.5 / 5
Tagline:  Why are they saying it's the one movie you should see this year? Ask anyone who's seen it. Anyone.
Directed by:  Richard Fleischer
Written by:  Elmore Leonard
Actors include:  Charles Bronson, Linda Cristal, Al Lettieri
Genre:  Action, Crime, Drama
Length:  103 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:
Just when I thought I had seen everything, this Melon-choly tale about a woeful Melon farmer who has to take revenge. Who else would you cast in an epic like this other than Charles Bronson, from defending the streets to defending the melon patch! I'll bet you are wondering why I keep saying melon...well that's nothing in comparison to the amount of times you are about to hear it if you watch this film. Hilariously enough this is treated like a serious action film, even with this silly topic and I think that's the main reason to watch it. That and if you've ever wanted to see a melon massacre, you are guaranteed one! It's beyond stupid and the actress who plays the love interest is rather irritatingly bad in the acting department but luckily she's not in this a ton. The story also loses focus towards the end where it just turns into good guy vs. bad guys but it used to be all about the melons! It was something to see, but I think I would chose Death Wish 3 again before this one, it's better than Death Wish 4: The Crackdown though!


Availability:  On DVD

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)

4 / 5
Tagline:  No man, no law, no war can stop him.
Directed by:  George P. Cosmatos
Written by:  David Morrell, Kevin Jarre
Actors include:  Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Charles Napier
Genre:  Action, Adventure, Thriller
Length:  96 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:

Well, it's far more over the top feeling than the original, but I enjoyed both about the same.  Both are rather nicely filmed, and both are violent (though I think this one with the rocket launcher and exploding arrows takes the cake) and both should make any action film fan happy.  This time Rambo is in jail breaking hot rocks in the sun when he's offered an out, if he goes to Vietnam and takes pictures of any POWs he can find he may receive a pardon.  Of course he volunteers, and quickly finds where the POWs are kept and he goes on a rampage killing and blowing up everyone in his path.  It's pretty exciting and action packed and yes the body count is very high.  He can't follow instructions and neither can the Army so things get out of control of course.  The actual character of Rambo could use a little personality but I'm sure that's just a small quibble since to most it won't matter.  I enjoyed it and so will most, it's exactly what you think it is.

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray

Rambo III (1988) aka Rambo: First Blood Part 3

3 / 5
Tagline:  The first was for himself. The second for his country. This time it's to save his friend.
Directed by:  Peter MacDonald
Written by:  David Morrell, Sylvester Stallone
Actors include:  Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Marc de Jonge
Genre:  Action, Adventure, Thriller
Length:  102 minutes
Banned:  Nope

Review:
Well to say this is lazy rehash would be entirely accurate but at least once the boring story is established (his commanding officer in Vietnam Colonel Trautman has been captured and only Rambo can save him) this at least has a comical level of violence. The one-liners they've given to Sly (actually I just found out that he was the screenwriter...maybe that was the problem?) were ridiculously stupid. Yes I did approve of watching tons of shoot outs and even one death I haven't seen before, but it wasn't enough to make this worth watching ever again. Definitely cookie cutter action sequel with bare minimum effort, but fans of the series that aren't looking for a masterpiece may be amused.


Availability:  On Blu-Ray & DVD

Rambo (2008)

3.5 / 5 Mar '11
Tagline: Heroes never die.... They just reload.
Directed by: Sylvester Stallone
Written by: Sylvester Stallone, Art Monterastelli
Actors include: Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Matthew Marsden
Genre: Action, Thriller
Length: 91 minutes
Banned: Nope

Review:
If you want to see a movie with an insanely high body count and little else, then this is your film. I applaud it for being fast paced, and for jumping right in to the cruelty and violence. The thing is, one doesn't watch a Rambo movie for plot (I'd hope), so most who came to this expecting an action killathon will be satisfied. The plot has Rambo working as a snake capturer when he is recruited to drive a boat to war torn Burma by some religious do-gooders. He reluctantly agrees, but 10 days later when nobody has heard from the religious folks he meets some mercenaries assigned to bring back the missing folks. He wants to help, they don't want to let him help so he helps anyways. Big "plot" huh....but any how there are so many exploded people and carnage that any action lover should be pleased. At least Rambo hasn't gone soft after all these years...in fact this has to be one of the bloodiest movies ever!

Availability:  On DVD & Blu-Ray